Word. :)
Yesturday my boyfriend told me
that he hates it when i talk badly about myself and my looks. He said it hurts him that i can’t see how beautiful i am. That i’m perfect….
MY Heart: melts and responds with a ”thanks baby, you always cheer me up! you’re the perfect one.” (cause he is)
MY Head: just wishes he’d stop lying to me.
True Story.
ME: NEW BROWN HAIR,DON’T CARE ;P lol . (please excuse the bruise on my arm)i wish you it didn’t look like i hate myself/face in every picture i take. if you look a litttle harder past my fake smile, you’ll see it…cause it’s always there.
That’s my height, and i wanna be 120 and she’s 110 and looks great!!! maybe i should set that as my goal weight!!!
Intake so far!! Proud actualllly.
10am:wake up:Nothing.
12pm-1pm-ish: 1/2 sandwich, bread(80) turkey(40) mustard(0) tea with lemon(0) tsp sugar(?)
4pm-6pm:1/2 sandwich bread(60) turkey(40) water (0) 3pickles(0) <—-that’s why i like eating them!!
probably have another sandwich sometime. ohhh or fruit :) lol good day today i think!
Sending a pic of this to my boyfriend righhttt now, because i WWAAAANT this for my birffffday! my favorite story ever, i need the lighter:D!!!!!<3
My life be like…
Sometimes when I look in the mirror, for a second I think my face is pretty. Then I notice my dark circles, pudgy cheeks, big nose, buggy eyes, and I remember how ridiculously ugly I am. Sometimes when I look in the mirror, for a second I think my body is attractive. Then I notice my muffin top, love rolls, flabby arms, huge thighs, and I remember disgustingly fat I am. When people say I’m “beautiful”, I wonder what exactly they see in me that I can’t.
When i read this, i feel like i wrote it myself because i wouldn’t be able to word it more perfectly, even if i tried.
143lbs
I feel like i’ll never be able to see the scale read 120. It’s like I’m waiting and waiting on a dream that’s never getting any closer. Especially since my lowest weight is 132-135ishhh.Decided I need to hop back on the ANA wagon…just for these last pounds…i mean, summer is basically here and my goal weight ISN’T. I need to focus. Stay strong. Try harder. Word harder. Eat less. Lose MORE. And be p e r f e c t.
New rules consist of:: 5/29/12
*Absolutely NO food after 8pm. or fruit ONLY(unless bf makes me eat, i can’t have him suspecious of my eating again.)
*Always pick the healthiest or lowest calorie option.
*Smoke as little as possible (to quit getting the munchies)
*Write down everything i put in my mouth.
*And MOST importantly, stay positive..even after a binge, even on my worst day. dont emotionally abusive myself because of it :)
